These Dreams
by NCISBALTOFAN
Summary: (Implied Destiel, Some Dreams are AU, rated M for SOME dreams not all of them) "All in all, Dean Winchester hated dreaming with a passion...until he met Castiel that is." A Compilation of all the dreams Dean has ever had about or involving Castiel.
1. Prologue

-Prologue-

Dreams, they were simple enough things. They were often a place of wonder, a place of safety and security, and all too often they held hidden desires and messages. Dean Winchester knew of such things, he was a human, therefore he dreamed. He'd had his fair share of strange dreams, literal dreams, and nightmares in all the years he'd been alive. Honestly, Dean Winchester hated dreaming. He preferred knowing his surroundings. He wanted to be awake when things happened to him, not somewhere unknown and deep in his subconscious. He liked to be in control of the things that happened to him as best he could.

Dean rarely talked to anyone about anything he saw whilst asleep. It was better that way, he wouldn't have the possibly judging ears of his brother to put in his cents, and he wouldn't have Castiel possibly interpreting them into something totally off kilter from what they really were. Angels did not dream, therefore they felt that every dream was something deep and complex. Dean hated analyzing anything that went on in his head.

Dean remembered the nightmares too from when he'd returned from Hell. They were all vivid imagery that had poisoned his mind and was etched into it like cave paintings. They were solid memories Dean wished to forget most of the time.

All in all, Dean Winchester hated dreaming with a passion...until he met Castiel that is.

**RNR!**

**A/N: Welcome to my newest story Destiel lovers! So as some of you have guessed already this story will be a compilation of the dreams Dean has had about our friend Castiel. I have rated the story M because of some of the dreams he has, which are quite sexual. Most of the dreams though, will range from the K-T rating. Each Chapter will have the title of a song, because I was listening to my iPod the other night and determined that so many songs on it screamed Destiel, thus this story idea was born. This is by no means a song-fic because I only mention a quote or two from the song and then proceed to tell the story of Dean's dream. Some of the dreams will be AU (some more than others, because well we all know dreams can be weird and strange sometimes) others will be very canon scenes and ideas if that makes any sense whatsoever?**

**Anyways I hope you all enjoy this story and I look forward to writing it! See you in Chapter 1!**


	2. Mr Jones

Dream One

"_**Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales and we stare at the beautiful women, she's looking at you, oh no she's looking at me." – Counting Crows**_

Dean walked into the old restaurant. It wasn't as crowded as he'd anticipated for New York City, but then again this was the older side of town and not the big city where all the lights flashed big and bright and the taxis seemed to rise out of God knows where and make their way downtown. Dean had a small smile on his face, a spring in his step too, he felt happy for once. This was different, this felt as if he could reach out and touch everything around him and he could never let go, because if he let go it would dissipate and he could never return.

The bell attached to the door tolled when Dean entered the New Amsterdam Restaurant. It had a fanciful atmosphere and instantaneously Dean felt at home. There was this lightness in the air, like if you didn't plant your feet firmly enough you'd be swept away and lifted up right with it. He smiled a little bit bigger when he noticed the live music. There was a woman dancing as a man strummed away on this almost metallic looking gray guitar with ease. The woman's hair was like spun gold and Dean eyed her up and down, nodding his approval. She winked at him and continued to dance for the non-existent customers. Dean walked over to the bar and sat down, immediately a beer was in front of him and he chuckled before taking a sip. It was unlike any beer he'd ever tasted. It wasn't too bitter and it wasn't too sweet either. It was the perfect blend of ingredients and it almost melted on his tongue.

"Hello Dean." A familiar voice was heard from beside him and he choked on his beer, coughing a bit before turning to his right to face Castiel who sat on the barstool and was currently eyeing the golden haired woman dancing. He chuckled and smiled at her as she moved her hips in the time to the guitar and the song that was playing. Castiel clapped a few times and looked back over at Dean.

"She moves like water doesn't she?" Castiel commented.

"Yeah," Dean was without words, it was so out of place for Castiel to be smiling and laughing, much less in Dean's dream. Dean eyed the full beer right next to Castiel's half empty one "Hey pass me that won't you?"

Castiel obliged and slid the bottle over towards Dean's open hand and he leaned his head back and gulped down a good portion of it, not even beginning to feel a buzz. Castiel sipped his bit by bit but he didn't swig it down like Dean was doing.

"She's beautiful." Castiel smirked and looked at Dean. "She's looking at me."

"Oh no wise guy she's looking at me." Dean laughed, not that he felt threatened by the socially inept angel next to him, but this was a dream and anything could happen in dreams. "You have to admit that!"

"I don't know Dean." Castiel quipped with a little laugh.

"Are you here for any other reason in particular or are you here to fill me with some profound wisdom from up above?" Dean took another sip and started looking at the televisions around him. They were all broadcasting the same news reel, two people who had caught the latest bad guy. Dean sighed and Castiel took notice.

"I am merely here because you wished me to be." Castiel replied. "Are you not happy with the news?"

"I just wish…" Dean commented, but then stopped himself. "Never mind it was a stupid thought that would never happen…"

"What is it Dean?" Castiel asked. "There is nothing stupid about your thoughts?"

Now how did Castiel know what Dean was thinking? Dean felt slightly uneasy, but he pushed that feeling to the bottom of his gut and cleared his throat.

"I just wish I could be the one on the news for once," Dean explained. "I mean what Sammy and I do is important too yah know? But do we get awards and recognition? No, people wouldn't hesitate to send us to the loony bin. It's just…it's not fair Cas."

"Nothing in life is fair, as cliché as that saying is, it is not entirely wrong." Castiel said. "I will not deny what you and Sam do is important Dean, but it is a bit unorthodox."

"It's my life," Dean sternly replied. "And I can't change it now even if I tried."

"And if you could?" Castiel cocked his head slightly, Dean looked away from him long enough to see the news reel had changed and instead of the two people who had originally been on screen they were no longer there, Dean about gasped, he saw the faces of Sam and himself in their place shaking hands with the police and smiling big and proudly. "You crave in someone to believe in you, to congratulate you for your hard and good work."

"It would be nice yeah." Dean gruffly replied, he did truly want what Castiel had brought to his attention. "Someone to believe in me and all…"

"My Father," Castiel commented, he looked forward at the golden haired dancer, but his smile was no longer there. She was moving as if she were a ghost and Castiel had seemed to lose interest in her all together, surprisingly so had Dean. That alone surprised Dean most of all because normally he would've had his eyes set on that rack of hers, but this time he looked upon the sullen serious face of Castiel and awaited his words. "He believes in you Dean, you are the righteous man, he believes you are capable of much more than you give yourself credit for, and quite frankly so do I."

Dean licked his lips and was about to say something when Castiel leaned back then stood up. He adjusted his trench coat and then smiled briefly at Dean.

"She's looking at you," Castiel chuckled. "You can have her, there's got to be somebody else for me."

Dean was shocked at the angel's boldness and was about to reply before Castiel turned and walked out the front door of the New Amsterdam, the bell tolling as he walked out the door slamming behind him.

"_**Believe in me; help me believe in anything, because I wanna be someone who believes."**_

**Read and Review, tell me what you think so far!**

**More dreams to come soon!**


	3. Savin' Me

Dream Two

"**Heaven's gates won't open up for me, with these broken wings I'm falling and all I see is you, these city walls ain't got no love for me I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story and oh I scream for you, come please I'm calling, and all I need is you hurry I'm falling." – Nickelback**

Dean was done. He had been done pretty much all of his life actually. There was nothing left of him, he was a broken, burnt out, shell of a man walking on his own two legs which shook right now in anticipation for what was to come. Dean could feel the blood spill over his tongue from where he'd bitten it raw and he sickenly swallowed all of it. His teeth were gritted together firmly and his jaw locked. His toes were curling in the soles of his shoes as he looked down upon the mess of traffic around him. It was some big city, maybe New York again, or Chicago, it didn't really matter because Dean would never see it again after this, much less anywhere else in this world. He rolled his fingers through the air and then balled his hands into fists. He looked around him. There was a warm breeze in the air but for some reason he still felt cold and he shivered. His blood ran cold most of all when he realized how far up he really was. This building was only eighteen stories high, but it still felt like miles away from the ground. His breaths were shaky and he felt as if he were swallowing bricks.

"_So this is it hot shot," _the voice in Dean's head wasn't very helpful. "_It ain't worth saving your ass, nobody wants you around, nobody cares enough to keep you here…what's stopping yah? Do it already yah spineless bastard! JUMP!"_

Dean shook his head as a wave of dizziness overtook him. He felt his stomach flip and he stepped forward a bit, he couldn't believe he was really going to do it. He closed his eyes tight and balled his fists again before reaching his foot out over the edge and with final breath…

"Dean stop!" Castiel's voice was heard behind him. Dean froze before turning slightly to face the angel.

"What Cas?" Dean's voice was bitter and scratchy as if he'd been screaming for hours on end. His eyes were puffy, red, and bloodshot. He'd been crying.

"You don't need to do this Dean…" Cas sighed, he felt true remorse for what his friend was feeling, he'd seen many people kill themselves before and the aura in the air around them was almost always saddening and sickening all at the same time. "There are people…who will miss you."

"Oh yeah says who?! Because last time I checked Sammy didn't care anymore, Heaven, Hell, God if there is one, NOBODY CAS NOBODY CARES!" Dean exclaimed, the tears running down his face.

"You just think nobody cares because you don't want people to Dean," Castiel challenged him with a stern glare. "You build a wall around your heart and your head and your soul without even realizing it! But I've seen past that Dean even when nobody else can! I've seen your bad and your good and Father knows I've never judged you for it! You act like you're some broken toy in a workshop somewhere but in all reality you are the most put together human I've ever encountered the rest of them hide behind lies and deceit but you…well at least your lies…t-they can be forgiven…so please Dean…don't do this…"

Dean thought about it for a moment, but he really couldn't see things any other way than how'd he'd seen them for so damn long.

"I'm sorry Cas but," Dean's gaze was serious and ice cold, no emotion whatsoever. "I don't know if you got the memo, but humans have limits, we're not all Superman, sometimes Cas…s-sometimes we're done…and right now I'm done…I'm just done so I'm sorry but I'm not as strong as you think I am."

Dean took a breath and he felt his legs extend into a leap. What happened next was all so fast, he just felt a rush of air all around him and everything was blurred. He felt weightless, like a pillow tossed from the bed to the floor. He closed his eyes and felt the air around him rush around him in a safety blanket. He thought about Sam, his mother, his father with spite, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, everyone he'd ever cared about, finally though he thought about Castiel and how he'd tried to help him and talk to him before he did this. Castiel, strangely enough, made him the saddest of all. Dean opened his eyes for a mere second and saw the concrete below just feet from his limp body, he sucked in a breath and braced for impact…

But that impact never came…

Dean opened his eyes and saw a pair of strong arms wrapped around him. They were Castiel's, familiar and covered with the sleeves of that dirty old trench coat he never took off. His hands were rough and calloused but his touch was gentle. Dean felt a rush of cold air shoot out in all directions from underneath him and a bluish light protruded with it. It was almost an invisible force field preventing him from slamming downwards. Dean's eyes went wide and his breathing was quick yet labored. The force field seemed to die away and suddenly Dean was on the cold hard concrete, Castiel's arms still wrapped around him. Dean felt weightless again, but not in the same way. He felt weightless in the way that someone had taken all that sadness and anger and threw it out of him, somebody did care. Castiel cared. Castiel stared down into Dean's shocked eyes.

"Nobody asked you to be Superman Dean…" was all Castiel said.

Dean broke down. His tears, hot and streaking down his face, soaked his cheeks and the collar on his shirt. He gasped and shook, his fingers trembling as they gripped the sleeves on Castiel's jacket, they were almost practically embedded in the fabric. He was so afraid to let go, he was afraid of falling again. Castiel smoothed Dean's hair back from his forehead, ridden with sweat from shock. He stayed there practically motionless with Dean laying underneath his grip and slowly regaining his normal breathing and heart rate.

The traffic and events around them never stopped, but to Dean it was as if time had stopped itself.

"**Show me what it's like to be the last one standing, teach me wrong from right and I'll show you what I can be, say it for me say it to me and I'll leave this life behind me, say it if it's worth saving me…" **

**Read and Review and all that!**

**Hope you all are enjoying so far!**


	4. Solsbury Hill

Dream Three

"**Climbing up on Solsbury Hill, I could see the city light, wind was blowing time stood still, eagle flew out of the night, he was something to observe, came in close I heard a voice, standing stretching every nerve, had to listen had no choice, I did not believe the information, just had to trust imagination, my heart going boom, boom, boom, son he said…grab your things I've come to take you home." – Peter Gabriel**

The air was warm and a gentle breeze blew across the land. The small city was quiet with the exception of the hospital and downtown. The far off honking of car horns in the distance put Dean at ease as he stood atop the hill at the playground, it was after dark and it had been almost too silent until now. He really didn't know why he was there; something though had compelled him to be here. Dean stared down at the city below him and down the hill. Everyone walking along, who consisted of the occasional person, looked as if they were ants. The cars whizzed past with ease and still there Dean stood with no recollection as to why. He looked up at the stars and smiled before looking around him.

The park equipment was old and metal, it looked a bit rusty but not unsafe by any means. Children had certainly used it which Dean was happy about, he loved to see children with normal lives in fact he almost envied them sometimes because he'd deprived of that growing up. Dean sat down and then crossed his arms over his bent knees. He just enjoyed the silence for awhile.

"_Dean!" _a booming voice was heard, an eerily familiar one.

Dean jumped to his feet. He was immediately on high alert. His nerves shot, he could only wonder where the voice was coming from. It was as if some unseen force was here. He mentally thought about the possibilities, Incubus possibly? No matter, he knew how to handle them.

"_I am not an Incubus Dean." _The voice said again and Dean felt a rush of air go past him. He blinked then turned to see a rather large eagle flying in the sky. It flapped its wings which were large, they were beautiful too. They stretched a long ways, more than a normal eagle's should Dean noted. They were golden brown with hints of other colors but the most prominent one was a familiar black.

"C-Cas…?" Dean asked, dumbfounded. A bird was talking to him, sure he'd seen weirder, but a bird with Castiel's voice and what Dean assumed to be Castiel's wings.

_"Yes Dean it is me." _The eagle spoke through Dean's mind. It never once opened its beak as it flapped a steady rhythm to keep itself in motion.

"Yeah that's all fine and dandy and all Cas but you might wanna answer one question for me?" Dean asked, his eyes held nothing but shock. "Why the hell are you a bird?!"

"_The eagle is the crest of my Garrison." _The eagle, well Castiel, explained. "_When an angel cannot find a suitable human vessel we often take refuge in an animal vessel because we do not need their consent upon entering their bodies. I suppose you've heard of spirit guides and how most of them are animals?"_

"Yeah." Dean nodded, Eagle Castiel's voice was loud, and Dean guessed it was his true voice leaking through since animals could not talk.

"_Same idea." _The eagle's eyes were like the sky. It was the first time Dean had seen a bird with blue eyes and he hoped now that it wouldn't be his last. He honestly had to admit that Castiel in this form, he was beautiful. "_I'm glad you find me to be of beauty in this form Dean?"_

"Yeah sure Cas," Dean stammered. Obviously Eagle Castiel still possessed the ability to read his mind. The wind Eagle Castiel's wings created as he flapped them had Dean staggering a bit as he tried not to fall over from the sheer force. "Hey can you tone it down a bit Cas I'm about to fall on my ass?"

Eagle Castiel nodded once and Dean watched as his majestic wings spread to their full length in an explosion of light and color that left the hunter breathless and flushed. Eagle Castiel folded his wings inwards and they shimmered one last time before they were laid to rest. Eagle Castiel was bigger than Dean in relative size. Dean gulped as he stared straight into Eagle Castiel's pitch blue eyes that were like an ocean in the sky. Eagle Castiel was roughly the size of ten Saint Benards. Dean determined that if he didn't have a fear of birds before, he would have one now.

"_This is a very special occasion Dean," _Eagle Castiel's voice lowered a bit, but it was still booming as ever in Dean's ears. "_It is not every day a human gets a spirit guide. You, well being the Righteous Man, I should have known you would receive one eventually."_

"So what now you're gonna turn into a featherbrain when I call yah from now on?" Dean exclaimed. "That's just great Cas way to make the world think I'm crazy for talking to a ten foot tall eagle!"

"_The humans whom I am not assigned to, they cannot see this form, this form is special to you only Dean although I have my doubts about using it very often since you do not often sleep." _Eagle Castiel explained. _"I am merely "test driving" this form as you humans say." _

"Well it uh," Dean smirked. "It makes yah look taller?"

_"My Garrison chose the eagle for their grace as well as their stoic nature." _Castiel said. "_It is a very high honor to have been chosen under this crest, much less my Garrison. Many other Garrisons choose other spirit animals you are very familiar with, the wolf, the bear, the stag, and so on. It is just another way with communicating with the humans in our charge."_

"Aren't I the only human in your charge besides Sammy Cas?" Dean asked.

"_Yes you are." _Eagle Castiel seemed to almost smirk in fact Dean could swear he had. "_This makes this dream and this form of me all the more special Dean."_

Dean was speechless. He couldn't think of a single thing to say in response to this. Castiel had shown Dean another part of himself, a part Dean would only see according to Castiel himself. This all felt so private and intimate almost that Dean couldn't help but blush a little. Eagle Castiel cocked his head in the same fashion as Castiel's human vessel often did and Dean found himself smiling a bit at that.

_"You have been chosen by my Father Dean, to represent Heaven and all it stands for."_ Eagle Castiel explained. "_This is a tremendous undertaking that I do not intend on letting you go through alone. I am here for you, in whatever form I may take, whatever words I may say, I mean them. I am here for you Dean as I hope you will always be here for me when I am in need of aid or of an ear to listen?"_

"Anything…Cas…" Dean was breathless, his heart beating in his chest like a hammer thudding away at a nail.

"_There is still one thing I have yet to understand about you Dean?" _Eagle Castiel asked quizzically. "_You have gone to Hell; you have fought all of your life for a normal life. Yet it is foretold you are the Righteous Man who can save us all, I of all people cannot understand why you do not accept the title. It is a great honor Dean, you and I both know that. This is the chance you can take to stop fighting, to finally get as close to a normal life as you've dreamed about? Why don't you just come home with us where you belong to carry out your Heavenly destiny, though I cannot force you to do so, I can only ask why you do not wish to do so? "_

"It's simple Cas," Dean explained with a hearty determined smile. "I fight and I keep fighting, because I realized something a long time ago…we don't always get what we want, but we can certainly help others get what they want. I fight for the good of the people on this earth, every last one of them, loser or not, because they all deserve a chance at what I can't have. So you can keep your words to yourself Cas, Heaven is not my home nor will it ever be. My job is here."

"_Those were the words I was hoping to hear Dean," _Eagle Castiel nodded once again and spread his wings wide. Dean felt the rush of wind again and looked up after re-opening his eyes to see Eagle Castiel flying up above him. Dean shielded his eyes from the brilliant white light behind those wings, but he also found himself unable to look away. _"I am proud of you Dean, for having free will, something I so desire in all truth. My time has passed me by and I fear if I stay much longer the angels will find out I spoke to you in this form. We will meet again on the human plane. Farewell Dean."_

There was a brilliantly large explosion of light and Dean covered his eyes. He heard a large flap of wings and then that was it. Eagle Castiel was gone and Dean was once again alone the grassy hill.

"**Today I don't need a replacement, I told him what the smile on my face meant, my heart going boom, boom, boom, I said you can keep my things they've come to take me home!" **

**Read and Review**

**I'm actually REALLY proud of this chapter honestly and I hope you all enjoyed it just as much! Until next dream!**


	5. Give Me Novacaine

Dream Four

"**Drain the pressure from the swelling, the sensation's overwhelming, give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright, tell me that I won't feel a thing…so give me Novocaine…" – Green Day**

Dean ran the house at full sprint. His heart pounded in his ears, his lungs burned with every intake of air and every breath he took. The darkness in his mind had managed to consume him tonight, normally he was alright. It wasn't always bad, but when it was it was always the worst. He was shaking, the substances had left his system awhile ago but he could still feel the emotions he had been originally trying to mask with them. They were slowly creeping up and eating him alive. Still, he kept running scared. He stumbled into a wall and slumped down and shook some more. He stared down at his hands. They were covered in dried blood and scars lined his wrists. It was his own blood and somehow, he just couldn't stop bringing it to the surface of his skin.

His legs felt like water. He could barely keep himself standing as he stared and shook. He fell to the ground, sitting and rocking slightly back and forth. He was sane; there was nothing wrong with him, that's what he'd tell the normals if they saw him doing this. The cold air contrasted with his hot breaths leaving trails of steam gliding upwards and Dean shivered. He looked up to the stars, his eyes stained with tears making his vision blurry and uneven. Dean screamed. He screamed loud and hard, louder than ever before.

He screamed until his throat was raw and he found that his fingernails had dug into one of the cuts on his wrist. The blood oozed out now and Dean gritted his teeth, there was a numbness that swept over him, the kind that normally did whenever he did this. A few hot tears dripped and mixed with the blood on the pavement below him and Dean found himself gasping for air. He could breathe, but this was the type of crying where you felt as if your lungs were dying inside and you couldn't breathe out to save your life. Dean used his other hand to support his body from hitting the ground.

The darkness was winning again.

"Dean!" Castiel yelled at a distance then his voice got closer and closer. He finally rounded the corner and his eyes locked on Dean who was shaking uncontrollably. He ran over to him breathlessly. "Dean…oh Dean…"

Dean cried harder when Castiel looked into his eyes. They were bloodshot; he'd been doing it again. Castiel looked down and away and sighed before looking back into Dean's red eyes.

"Dean," Castiel said in a calming voice before reaching out and caressing the side of his face. "Dean…its ok Dean it'll be ok it always is, this always passes…you just need to breathe ok?"

"I-It's too strong this time C-Cas…" Dean choked out. "I'm…having the thoughts again…"

"Sssh Dean its ok…" Castiel's voice was soft and calming. He reached out and pulled Dean towards him. Dean practically wept into Castiel's chest as Castiel ran a soothing hand through his soft hair and let Dean soak his shirt. "You are strong Dean, stronger than this. You can beat this I know you can. You need help Dean…please let me help you?'

Dean shook furiously and looked down at his wrists again. Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean's and Dean felt Castiel's hot breath on his lips. Castiel closed his eyes and willed Dean's tears away, he was powerless, he was merely a man now, but he still wished he had the power to take pain away.

"You need to stop this Dean." Castiel said sternly, lifting one of Dean's wrists up to his face and glaring. The cuts from the razor were still embedded in his tender bleeding and raised skin. Some of the scars were infected but not all of them luckily or Castiel would have a real problem, well a bigger one than the one right now, on his hands. "This is not healthy. I know you get angry, I know you get depressed, I know this relieves the pain, but this is not the right way to do so. I need you around for a long time Dean. I'm not about to lose you like this."

"C-Can't stop Cas…" Dean shook his head but deep down he felt scared and lost and hopeless most of all.

"Yes you can Dean." Castiel was adamant. "You can and you will. You have people who care about you, who love you. I love you Dean and I need you here with me on this earth do you understand me? Now let's get you home and get you cleaned up and we'll go to bed ok? No more of this. No more running out of our house like this. Do you understand Dean?"

"I-I understand C-Cas…" Dean stopped shaking and swallowed hard. "I-I love you too Cas."

"I know Dean believe me I know." Castiel placed a small kiss on Dean's lips for reassurance and cupped one of his cheeks. "We'll get through this together, like you always taught me, we'll fight through until the end. I won't give up on you."

"M'tired Cas…" Dean said lazily. He stood slowly with Castiel supporting him. Dean shifted his weight so Castiel wouldn't have such a heavy load to carry. Castiel smiled warmly and took one step at a time with Dean following valiantly by his side.

"I know you're tired Dean." Castiel replied. The blood from Dean's wrists had stained his t-shirt and part of his jeans and that made Dean feel bad. "That's why I'm taking you home ok? So you can curl up in bed and I'll cover you up and I'll hold you I promise I'll hold you ok?"

"P-Promise Cas…" Dean nodded. "I like it…when you h-hold me…"

"I know you do." Castiel was trying to get Dean to forget about why he'd fled their house to begin with.

"Y-You chase the thoughts away Cas…the bad ones." Dean admitted, ashamed a bit. "You keep me alive."

"That was always my job from day one Dean," Castiel smiled warmly. "Even when I was still an angel that was my job."

Dean felt safe. The thoughts had faded once again as they always did. He seemed to run out of the house a lot, eyes blood shot and wrists bloody, but Castiel always found him when he left his side of the bed empty and his pillow cold. Castiel always ran after him and held him wherever he found him. He kept it simple; he distracted Dean from everything, even the pain and those horrible terrible thoughts that consumed his brain most of the time. His words were always comforting and he always knew what to say to calm Dean down.

Dean had honestly been doing this since before he met Castiel. He had even thought of ending it all a long time ago, but something had always told him to stop and not to pick up that knife or that razor blade. He now realized Castiel was his reason to live, his future. This was the man who'd taken away his knives, his razor blades time and time again, and cared enough to run after him when he had those thoughts and ran away to hide.

Dean found those thoughts alone comforting as he laid his head on Castiel's shoulder and walked with him back to their home, Castiel whispering comforting words into his ear the entire time.

_"I love you Dean." _Castiel said.

"**Out of body and out of mind, kiss the demons out of my dreams…"**

**Read and Review and all that!**

**A/N: I'm proud of this chapter too because honestly I've felt like Dean did in this dream many times before. I know everybody has heard this over and over again, but suicide is never the answer believe me…I've been there. I beat my depression and I'm ok now, but even I still have bad days. So Courtney my best friend forever I dedicate this chapter to you for helping me through those bad days and always listening 3 Love you girly!**


	6. Lightning Crashes

Dream Five

**"Oh, now feel it coming back again. Like a rolling thunder chasing the wind. Forces pulling from the center of the Earth again, I can feel it." – Live (Lightning Crashes)**

"Dean you just need to calm down!" Sam exclaimed towards his brother and grabbed Dean's shoulders hard, shaking him once. "Everything will be ok alright?"

"No Sammy I will NOT calm down!" Dean yelled back, he was pacing impatiently and nervously. His hands were shaking and his breaths were coming out shallow and hurried. "This is the biggest moment of my life and you want me to just calm down?! I don't think so!"

"Dean…" Sam rolled his eyes. "Bobby hired a doctor; he's an expert when it comes to the Supernatural. They'll take care of Cas."

"It's hot in here…" Dean shook a little harder. "Does it feel hot in here to you? I think I may need to sit down Sammy…"

"Dean calm down!" Sam helped his brother sit down on a nearby chair as the pair anxiously awaited the diagnosis. The door down the hallway creaked open suddenly and Bobby emerged. He was wiping his hands on a clean towel. His hands were coated with blood. Dean shot up immediately with an exasperated look on his face. Sam gulped.

"Bobby…?" Dean asked he was almost afraid to know.

"Everything went fine Dean." Bobby nodded and then smiled a proud smile. He hugged Dean close and Dean felt relief wash over him in one clean sweep. "He's here Dean. Congratulations."

Dean found himself crying a bit.

"Well what are you waiting for yah idjit?" Bobby laughed. "Get your ass in there!"

Dean ran. He ran fast down the hallway. It was almost as if he was running in slow motion and the hallway was endless. He panted and tried not to trip over his own two feet in his haste. He reached the end of the hallway and caught his breath. He felt as though he was being lifted upwards, the euphoria that filled him wasn't going to cease any time soon. With his hands shaking, he pushed open the door silently and peered inside the small room.

Castiel lay in the bed. The doctor cleaned up his tools and he smiled over at Dean before quietly pushing past him and into the hallway. Dean heard a muffled "Congrats" but he could barely hear anything else over the sound of his fast beating heart. Castiel was tired, but he was smiling. He looked up at Dean and then back down to the small bundle in his arms.

"Hello Dean," Castiel said breathlessly. "Say hello to Daniel."

Dean crept over carefully. Then he sped up his pace and cupped Castiel's cheek. He pressed their foreheads together and cried tears of joy in between laughing and gasping for air.

"Cas…" Dean muttered, before kissing the angel's cheek. "You did great baby, you did wonderful. He's…he's beautiful."

"He has your hair Dean," Cas stated and held baby Daniel a bit closer towards Dean. "He's yet to open his eyes, but when he does…would you like to hold him Dean?"

Dean nodded and extended his arms towards Castiel who cautiously handed him Daniel with a smile. Dean held his son in his arms and smiled down at him proudly.

"Hey there little guy." Dean whispered. "Can you open your eyes for daddy?"

Daniel grunted and then slowly his little eyes cracked open. They were pale blue, they were just like Castiel's and Dean bit his lip a few more tears falling down his cheeks. He was trying so hard to stop shaking.

Sam and Bobby came up behind him through the door with expectant smiles on their faces. Sam's face lit up like a beacon when Dean turned with his tiny little son nestled in his arms. Sam smiled a toothy grin and Daniel grabbed Sam's pointer finger tightly.

"Hey there Daniel," Sam said. "I'm your Uncle Sammy, look at those big ol blue eyes of yours."

"He came out perfect." Dean replied, kissing Daniel's forehead.

"You did great Cas." Bobby gave Castiel thumbs up and Castiel smiled a tired smile back at Bobby.

"Never thought you'd ever have a moment like this Dean," Sam hugged his brother tightly. "I'm happy for you Dean…you're a father."

"I'm happy too Sammy," Dean replied. "For once…I can finally say that."

Dean's eyes met little Daniel's once again and a huge smile crept over his lips.

"I love you little guy." Dean mouthed to a sleepy little Daniel who was still holding onto Dean's fingers as he closed his little eyes.

-8-8-8-8-8-

"Daddy!" little six year old Daniel whined. "I don't wanna go to sleep!"

"Now Daniel Winchester," Dean bent down and ruffled his son's hair with a smirk. "You know the rules."

Daniel pouted.

"Aw c'mon if you don't go to bed soon you know who comes out?" Dean smirked and then started to tickle under Daniel's armpits earning an excited squeal from him. "The Tickle Monster!"

"D-Daddy stop!" Daniel laughed and squirmed, Dean felt his chest being elbowed and prodded but he couldn't care less. "I-I'm gonna pee!"

"Well you better not do that on me!" Dean laughed too and picked his son up by the ankles. Daniel squirmed and squealed again and Dean pretended numerous times to drop him, but he caught him each time. He then hoisted Daniel up into his arms and kissed the top of his head. "You tired big guy?"

"No…" Daniel found himself yawning though and he nuzzled his cheek into Dean's chest. "Where's mommy?"

"He's in the other room right now kiddo." Dean smiled and carried Daniel to the bathroom. "He said he'd be in to tuck you into bed after I give you a bath though."

"Ok daddy," Daniel lifted his arms up as Dean pulled his t-shirt off his body and eventually got him into the tub. "Can I have bubbles this time?"

"Of course you can have bubbles little dude." Dean chuckled and squirted some bubble bath into the water and in no time it foamed up and Daniel giggled. He picked up a handful of bubbles and smeared them on Dean's chin and his cheeks before laughing even louder. "Daddy you look funny with a beard!"

"Well," Dean laughed as well and plopped some bubbles on top of Daniel's head. "You look even funnier with a bubble hat!"

"Daddy that's not a bubble hat!" Daniel whined and rubbed some bubbles into Dean's hair. "That is a bubble hat!"

"Well thank you for giving me this lovely piece of fashion do you think mommy will like it?" Dean asked.

"I think mommy will say you look funny." Daniel giggled again.

"Well then," Dean zerberted Daniel's cheek and Daniel jumped and splashed a bit. "I think he'll say that you're a goober."

Dean washed Daniel and then dressed him in his favorite Batman footie pajamas. He helped him brush his teeth and dry his hair. He picked him back up and carried him to his room. It was a small room but it was filled to the brim with various toys and books. The bedspread and comforter were both Batman related and the only thing that was different about the theme of the entire room was the old teddy bear that was nestled under the sheets.

Dean pulled back the covers and tucked Daniel in, counting all of his toes as he tucked them under the comforter. Daniel let out a large yawn and Dean smoothed his hair back.

"Daddy?" Daniel asked. "Are Grandpa Bobby and Uncle Sammy coming over tomorrow to play with me?"

"Why yes they are." Dean said in a sing song voice and then kissed Daniel's forehead. "So that's why you need your sleep, so you can go save the world tomorrow my little Batman."

Dean looked over at the doorway and Castiel walked through it and over towards Daniel who reached up and hugged him around the neck.

"Goodnight mommy." Daniel hugged Castiel tight.

"Goodnight Daniel." Castiel kissed his cheeks and then stood to leave. "Sleep well my little angel."

"Daddy…" Daniel's eyes were droopy and he hugged his teddy bear close to his body. "Will you sing me that song about Jude?"

"Sure thing kiddo." Dean started to rub Daniel's back as he sang. "_Hey Jude don't be afraid…take a sad song and make it better…"_

Dean sang his way through the song and Castiel watched from the doorframe with a wide smile on his face.

"**Pale blue colored iris…"**

**Read and Review**

**Until next dream guys! Sorry for the slow updates I get inspiration elsewhere and school and homework take up some time. **


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